Welcome to A Path With Heart: NVC & Social Change
Don’t Miss Any of These Stellar Conversations With Incredible Individuals Doing Cutting-edge Work
Day 1
Robert GonzalesThe Role of Self Compassion in Social ChangeWhen I think about “NVC and Social Change,” I desire clarity about what is meant by the term and what the one who is using it means. A clear definition and construct is important to me if anyone is to move with any intention for social change. So I hope to explore the question, What is Social Change? I also see it as important to examine and inquire into our motivations for engaging in what we call social change. In this interview I see myself sharing one perspective or dimension of social transformation in terms of Wilber’s four quadrant model, especially NVC as applied to each quadrant; briefly, quadrants representing structures or forms as vehicles for divine or life energy. I am also looking forward to talking about the complexity of social transformation and the limitations of the analogy of “picking babies out of the river” vs. “going upstream and preventing them from being thrown into the river in the first place.” ∗ Robert Gonzales stands on the shoulders of Marshall Rosenberg (founder of Nonviolent Communication), Stephen Schwartz (teacher of Compassionate Self-Care), and others as a visionary leader in the field of compassion. Robert’s evolutionary approach to Nonviolent Communication — with an emphasis on self-compassion — has helped thousands worldwide to find joy and freedom from suffering previously unavailable to them. He received a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology in 1989, and was a practicing therapist for many years, offering individual and couples counseling. He met Marshall Rosenberg and Nonviolent Communication in 1985, and has been offering NVC in some form since 1986. After serving multiple roles with the Center for Nonviolent Communication including Certified Trainer, Certification Assessor, Board President and trainer for International Intensive Trainings (IITs), in 2010 Robert founded the Center for Living Compassion, a nonprofit organization through which he shares his work. Get access to this and every other amazing interview in this series. |
Mair AlightBeing NVCIn attending to our own human needs, we already participate in social change. We change ourselves which affects those around us. As we focus on what might serve the life within us and others, we become increasingly aware of what we experience as not working and explore ways that might work better. Social change in action! Fundamental concept in “Being NVC” is that of choice, how we each choose to live in alignment with our values/needs…and discovering what that looks like for each of us. Howard Thurman said “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” I have been facilitating a call structure that offers the experience of “Being NVC”: of ‘coming alive’… On this call I intend to invite us all to experience that “coming alive.” As we commune together silently we might shift to possibility, discovery, creativity, imagination. There is something profound, deep and inspiring when we do this in the presence of others. Mahatma Gandhi said “In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness.” ∗ Mair is a CNVC Certified Trainer from Oakland, California, USA. Mair offers games, stories, songs and images to inspire and share NVC using the diversity of her life experiences to offer relevance and to invite understanding. Mair is a founding active member of the Safer Communities Project, offering NVC classes in prison, jails and for parolees and their families.. Mair has co-authored a children’s NVC coloring book, Compassionate Underwear (Bear), co-produced a 60 minute DVD “Living NVC.” Get access to this and every other amazing interview in this series. |
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BONUS INTERVIEWS
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Maria ArpaRunning a Social Change Organization within the MainstreamThe Centre for Peaceful Solutions was set up as a direct response to the Special Session hosted by Marshall and Valentina Rosenberg at Orchidea Lodge (in Switzerland) which I attended in 2005. The mission was simple: To contribute to the development of peaceful communities, workplaces, families, businesses and organisations. Then we got £550,000 from central government to develop a model of mediation for violent crime and our problems really began… ∗ Maria has made interpersonal skills a lifetime project. Alongside a 25-year career in marketing and advertising, she developed her talent for engaging people in healthy conversations through her experiences as a Samaritan volunteer, a counsellor, a Reiki Master and a mediator. Maria also spent time at the sharp end running her own business for 15 years and working as a stand-up comic for five years before setting up a relationship counselling practice and becoming the Chief Executive of a Community Mediation Service. She regards being a mother to two young adults as her most rewarding communications challenge and along with her partner David, she strives to model the communication they seek to share in their work. Maria is a former Chair of Mediation UK, has a Master’s degree in mediation and conflict resolution and is a sought after speaker and trainer. Described by the Civil Mediation Council as a ‘top’ mediator, Maria developed a communications tool called the Dialogue Road Map which has gained recognition amongst senior mediation professionals. She is founder of the Centre for Peaceful Solutions, a charity which offers mediation and mediation training for civil, commercial, workplace, family and community disputes. In 2010 the charity completed a 3 year project funded by HM Treasury to develop a sustainable mediation model for violent crime and anti-social behaviour. The work has taken her into some of the most deprived areas of London. She has been pleasantly surprised by the warm welcome she has received on the streets and undeterred by the inability of statutory agencies to apply flexibility and humanity to difficult and recurring situations. Maria’s book, The Heart of Mindful Relationships was published in June 2012 and her second book Mindfulness at Work has just been released. Maria is particularly skilled in assessing people and situations as well as offering support and empathy during and after difficult situations. Get access to this and every other amazing interview in this series. |
Rabbi Michael Lerner &
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Peggy SmithOnly Humans Here:
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Lucy LeuThe Tao of NVC LeadershipIn this interview I look forward to sharing with Alan and with listeners anything I have that may be of value to aspiring leaders, and to people involved in social change work who want effective use of NVC as part of their toolkit. I also hope to share about a process called Insight Dialog about which I am enthusiastic. ∗ Lucy Leu is former President of the Board of Directors of the international Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC). Lucy is co-founder of the Puget Sound Network for Compassionate Communication (PSNCC – now Northwest Compassionate Communication, located in Seattle), as well as of The Freedom Project which brings mindfulness practice and NVC training into prisons. Lucy was editor of Marshall Rosenberg’s book, “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life,” is author of the “Nonviolent Communication Companion Workbook: A Practical Guide for Individual, Group, or Classroom Study” and is co-author of the “NVC Toolkit for Facilitators.” Get access to this and every other amazing interview in this series. |
Stephanie Bachmann Mattei“If we want to change the world we shall start with the children.” -GandhijiIn this interview I look forward to sharing about my parenting journey, the evolution of parenting, and some basic practical brain science. I look forward, also, to laying out clearly why I believe conscious parenting is one of the most potentially powerful positive social change strategies. ∗ Stephanie was born and raised in Florence, Italy, where she earned her Bachelor in Languages and a Ph.D. in Philosophy. Stephanie moved to the USA, when she married her husband. Together they are parenting their three self-educated children (biological and adopted). Stephanie’s core intertwined themes in life are: spirituality, parenting and healing. Stephanie, a certified trainer with the Center for Nonviolent Communication, is passionate to share her understanding of NVC as a process to empower oneself and others to celebrate the humanity in one’s own being, and to encounter the humanity in the other person. In the words of Dr. Bruce Perry, “Being born human does not ensure being humane.” Parenting is Stephanie’s niche. Parenting, being a major way of transmitting our unconscious wounds as well as our conditioning to social and cultural blueprints, becomes a powerful and far-reaching tool for social transformation. Aware of the specific challenges and joys of raising an adopted child, Stephanie studied under Dr. Daniel Siegel and Dr. Bruce Perry to learn about the effects of trauma on the developing brain. Finally, in Stephanie’s experience, parenting inevitably ends up being a call to integrate our unprocessed experiences and to bring healing to ourselves. To that respect, Stephanie loves tying NVC with mindfulness-based neuroscience to support self-understanding, healing and wholeness. Stephanie co-leads the “Parent Peer Leadership Program” (PPLP) – a program of the Peaceful Families Peaceful World Project of the International Center for Nonviolent Communication and BayNVC. For more information about the PPLP please see: www.nvc-pplp.com Get access to this and every other amazing interview in this series. |
Jeyanthy SivaGrief, Joy, and the Long View on Social ChangeIn this interview I look forward to talking about my experiences working in Sri Lanka, a beautiful land torn apart by 30 years of civil war, as well as my perspective on social change and the essential work of caring for ourselves as we do the work. ∗ Jeyanthy Siva is an international trainer in Communication, conflict resolution and healing/reconciliation. Jeyanthy’s vision and greatest hope is to contribute to healing, reconciliation and peaceful coexistence of all the different communities of Sri Lanka and by extension the world by sharing the skills for people to resolve conflicts without resorting to violence, to stay connected with each other even when there is a disagreement and to gain access to resources needed to sustain life powerfully and peacefully. She has been facilitating trainings and team retreats since 2000 and travels extensively to Europe and other parts of the world. She has conducted workshops & presentations (including key note address) in Asia (Sri Lanka, Singapore & India), Europe (Germany, Netherlands, Finland, United Kingdom, Italy and Switzerland) and the US (California, New York). In Sri Lanka she has trained teachers, university students, lecturers and NGO staff (local and international) and media personal as well as medical professionals (doctors, psychiatrists & counselors). Outside of Sri Lanka, she has trained businesses as well as individuals looking to improve communication and conflict resolution skills. Recently she has also been growing and leading the Sandhi team. In the late 90’s, along with other trainers from Berkeley, CA (USA), she co-founded the Diversity Project to bring Nonviolent Communication to minority groups in the USA who have traditionally been blocked in their ability to access equal opportunity. Jeyanthy studied Nonviolent Communication with NVC founder Marshall Rosenberg, with the founders of BayNVC and with trainers from around the world who are affiliated with the US based Center for Nonviolent Communication. She has been studying with and mentored by Joanna Macy since 2002. She also trained and served as a community mediator with the Conciliation Forums of Oakland, a community mediation center in California (USA). Her academic background is in South Asian Studies (MA program) at the University of California, Berkeley (USA) and Philosophy and Psychology (BA) at Rutgers University, NJ (USA).” Get access to this and every other amazing interview in this series. |
Ray TaylorNVC, Climate Change, and Growing Your NetworkIn this interview I look forward sharing with listeners about some of the work I am doing in different parts of the world. I also intend to cover at least a few of the following topics: ∗ Ray Taylor is half English and half Slovak and enjoys straddling different worlds. He offers coaching to individuals and couples and small groups around the world by Skype. He also works on NVC and climate change, and making NVC more available to more people. He originally trained in both Western and Ayurvedic medicine, and then worked in development in India and Madagascar, and with children’s services in India, Slovakia and the UK. He lived in the Findhorn Community and Ecovillage in Scotland for 4 years. He’s been very active in the NVC network in the UK, and having worked in Russia and Sierra Leone is now helping spread NVC in Chinese, Farsi, Arabic and Spanish, as well as in Liberia and this group on Facebook. Get access to this and every other amazing interview in this series. |
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